It was Called as a Family Bonding Moment
by sugo
Summary: Jino doesn't have the slightest idea that visiting Super Junior's dorm can be such a nightmare. warning : crack fic. author isn't responsible for any rolled-eyes due to the randomness in this fic :3


**Title :** It was Called as a Family Bonding Moment  
**Character / Pairing :** Kyumin, self-proclaimed-sibling!Kyuno, ninja!Yewook, Eunhyuk, Donghae  
**Genre : **bromance? crack, humour  
**Rating : **G

**Disclaimer :** I own Kyuhyun in my laptop  
**Summary :** Jino doesn't have the slightest idea that visiting Super Junior's dorm can be such a nightmare  
**Warning :** random, pwp (plot? what plot?), grammatical errors

enjoy!

* * *

It was the same tiring day for S.M. The Ballad members and when they finally finished their last schedule of the day which happened to be a night radio broadcast Jino couldn't help but sighed in relief. Another day had passed. Jino didn't expect promotional days to be that busy despite the fact that he was just a newly-3 weeks, to be exact-debuted singer. The innocent-looking 19 years old boy was wondering whether he did his job properly, whether his mom missed him and why his stomach wouldn't stop growling when he felt someone tapped, or rather, smacked his shoulder. "Ouch! What is it…" he was snapped back into reality and abruptly stopped whatever his mouth wanted to say when he saw Kyuhyun stood behind him, not to mention there was a line consisted of 4 people staring at him over Kyuhyun's shoulder. "You're blocking the way out."

* * *

Jino was as happy as a clam when Kyuhyun invited him to Super Junior's dorm. It was such a good time to introduce him to Super Junior members in order to create something called 'family bonding' between them, Kyuhyun reasoned. Jino liked the idea of him being friend with Super Junior members. He liked having many hyungs. '_They're cool_', he thought as he munched chicken wing a passerby ahjumma had just gave him out of pity. His mom always told him not to talk to strangers, and Jino had never defied his mom's words. His mom never talked about receiving chicken wings from a stranger after all.

"Hyung, I'm home." Kyuhyun said as the Cho brothers stepped into the 11th floor dorm. In the living room, Sungmin was found sprawling on the couch. He was too absorbed into the soap opera he was watching to notice the presence of two self-proclaimed-handsome-boys. Or a boy, actually only Kyuhyun did the proclamation of himself being handsome.

"Kyuhyun, is that you?" Ryeowook's voice could be heard from his and Yesung's shared room. "Come here for a second."

"Why don't you come here?" Kyuhyun shouted.

"Come here you brat! We need to talk about a new song. And no, I'm too lazy to drag my feet only to see you." this time Yesung's voice could be heard shouting back.

"Tch. Jino…you wait here." Kyuhyun said, receiving a slight nod from the younger. As Kyuhyun disappeared behind the room's door, Jino threw his gaze to Sungmin, who was now sobbing and bawling like a child.

"Why? Auntie..w..why did you do that to Kyouhei? That's too cruel! He's your own child, for God's sake!" Sungmin started shouting to the innocent television.

"Uh..uhm..hyung? You okay?" Jino frowned, offering a box of tissue he found on the table. "Hng..*sob* y..yeah, thanks." Jino smiled at the older's antics.

"Huh? Who are you?" Sungmin asked when realization struck him. "Ah..sorry hyung, I haven't introduced myself properly. I'm Jino…a member of S.M. The Ballad". He felt nervous for no reason.

Sungmin's eyes widened, "Oh! So you're that Jino! No wonder I feel somewhat familiar! You must've known who I am, right? Yep yep! I'm Sungmin, but you can just call me Min hyung, or Minnie hyung, or Sungminnie..or..wait, I mean Sungminnie hyung. Don't be such a brat like Kyuhyun, he often call me without honorifics…"

"…and congrats for your debut! I'm sure you'll be a great singer with that great voice of yours and great appearance…" Sungmin continued blabbering.

After a seemingly forever blabber, Sungmin finally took a long breath. "So, how old are you?" his face crinkled up in a wide smile. Jino waited for exactly 3 seconds, making sure that it was the last sentence of his blabber before answering, "T-thank you very much hyung…I'm 19." he blushed shyly, relieved at the fact that Sungmin hyung was actually a friendly person.

"Omo! You're blushing! So cuuuuutteeee~~" Sungmin squealed and pinched his nose a bit too hard. "Look at yourself, you're so young, and you're a nice kid! From now on, you'll be my baby~" Sungmin said in sing-song voice and dragged him to his and Kyuhyun's shared room, oblivious to painful look the still-breathless Jino gave him.

* * *

"When will this so-called-discussion be done? You told me it'd take a second and it has been precisely 1680 seconds and it hasn't done yet and..and all we did in the past 1659-no, it has been 1683 seconds now, was just looking at him doing that dumb thingy! We didn't even discuss anything!" Kyuhyun exploded, as he couldn't hold his rage any longer.

"Shh! Shut your mouth up, math freak. Wookie's trying his best to find the suitable chords for our new song! We must help him by creating a perfect atmosphere for his meditation." Yesung stared intensely at Ryeowook's closed eyes.

Kyuhyun palmed his face in frustration. "Oh please hyung, I brought Jino here and I've made him waiting too long…"

"Wait, Jino, you said? Jino…you mean that Jino?"

"I don't know who you mean by 'that Jino', and as long as I can remember, I know only one Jino. So if what you mean by 'that Jino' is 'this Jino', so..yeah.." Kyuhyun scratched his head. It seemed that he was puzzled by his own sentence.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier? I want to see Jino!" Yesung quickly stood up.

"Who's that Jino?" Ryeowook snapped his eyes open then narrowed them as he looked at Yesung quizzically, demanding a proper explanation.

"Jino is my child!" Yesung chirped happily. "I tought your child is only Ddangkoma." "You forgot about Ddangkoming and Ddangkomi."

"Right, those three." Ryeowook rolled his eyes. "Nah, they're just turtles~" and next thing he knew, Yesung has flown out of the room, leaving his two dongsaengs dumbfounded.

Ryeowook turned his head to look at kyuhyun. "This Jino is not a turtle?" Kyuhyun blinked once. Twice. "Why the hell would I bring a turtle from a night radio broadcast?"

* * *

Sungmin smiled proudly at his own 'creation'. "H..hyung..t-this is embarrassing.."

"No worries baby Jinny-Jino, oh I forgot to put this..and yep! Perfect! Awwww~ you're extremely cute that I want to keep you under my pillow!" Sungmin let out his fangirl, scratch that, fanboy squeal. Jino shuddered at his own reflection and prayed quietly for someone, he didn't care who was that, to save him and get him out of this situation.

All of a sudden, the door of Sungmin's room slammed open with a loud 'bang'. "JINO!"

"Yesung hyung!" Jino was sure Yesung glowed that time. He was unexplainably sparkling, twinkling, shining, and whatever word similar to it, as he gave him his best 'SAVE ME' look.

Yesung's smile faded as he peered inside the room. "Sungmin-ah, did you see Jino?"

"Hyung! I'm Jino!" He yelled desperately. "Jino?" Yesung blinked. Sungmin blinked. Jino snorted.

Silence.

"I didn't know you debuted as a ballerina. I thought you debuted as a singer."

That was the first time Jino wanted to throw himself into the depth of Han River.

"WHAT THE HELL?" the newly rushed into the room people-Kyuhyun and Ryeowook-shouted simultaneously.

"SHE IS YOUR CHILD?"

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?"

"Correction, she's a he, and I just did some make over" Sungmin said as a matter of fact.

"Yesungie hyung…don't tell me…you were married before? WHO'S HIS MOM?" Ryeowook shrieked and put his palm upon his mouth dramatically.

Yesung's jaw dropped as he heard the question. "DO YOU THINK I LOOK THAT OLD?"

"Even if I had married and had a child, MY CHILD WOULDN'T BE THIS OLD BY NOW."

"I'm still young.." Jino pouted. "Aww~ that's my baby! You did it well!" Sungmin screamed in delight.

"Hyung! He's my dongsaeng and he IS NOT your baby!" Kyuhyun, on the other hand, screamed in horror. "And stop teaching him to be such cutie! He's supposed to be intelligent like me."

"Come to think of it…you're right." Ryeowook said dumbly. Yesung took a deep breath. "What I mean by him being my child is," he sighed. "I was the one who discovered his singing talent back then."

"But it seems that he has chosen his own path as a ballerina." Yesung muttered, shedding invisible tears. "Hyung! It's not…"

"Don't worry Jino, I'll still support whatever path you choose." Yesung gave him his thumbs up. And a bonus wink. "I'm just surprised, that's all…and I..I..I think I need to talk to Ddangkoma now!" Yesung ran to his room in a more dramatic way than what Ryeowook did before.

"Yesung hyung!" Ryeowook followed him.

Kyuhyun blinked. Jino blinked. Sungmin batted his eyelashes.

* * *

"He's cute."

"No. He's supposed to be like me. And me no cute at all. He's my dongsaeng, not yours. I'm gonna make him having a high intelligence like me"

"Dear almighty Cho Kyuhyun, you're my dongsaeng, and if he's your dongsaeng, it means he is my dongsaeng's dongsaeng-and no, the result won't be he's my dongsaeng square because this is not, I repeat, IS NOT a mathematic equation that you always boast about as your speciality, which I found months ago it's actually not; your speciality is just that evil smirk of yours and to conclude it all, Jino being your dongsaeng automatically means he's my dongsaeng as well."

Kyuhyun nibbled his lower lip. "Wait, repeat from the 'you're my dongsaeng' part."

"And you called yourself intelligent." Sungmin said mockingly.

"I AM!"

"Intelligent my ass, you'll only turn my baby Jino into a naughty kid like what you did to yourself."

"I AM NOT KID! And he is not yours, he is mine. He isn't even cute."

"Nope. He's cute, maybe even cuter than me~" Sungmin smiled dreamingly, an image of Jino wearing frilly platter tutu suddenly popped into his mind.

"Nonsense hyung, there's no one cuter than you." Kyuhyun blushed as he realized what he had said.

Sungmin stopped imagining and raised an eyebrow. No, not in a way Siwon raised his shibrows. "Wow, I'm flattered. Thanks. But you're way too young to be a hyung"

"I'm adult already! I..I ki-kissed the girl in my musical performances!" Kyuhyun stutteringly tried to boast. "So what? I kissed one, too. And my girl is prettier than yours! At least, she's not an ahjumma~" Sungmin countered and laughed maniacally.

Holding back embarrassment at his failed argument, Kyuhyun managed to keep his voice calm. "Fine, just ask Jino who he prefers to be like, me or you!"

"Challenge accepted," Sungmin chuckled. "Now Jino, answer or…"

The chair was empty.

"Jino?"

* * *

Jino crept out of Kyuhyun and Sungmin's room as quietly as a rat when the said two was busily debating over him. '_What happened to the cool Super Junior hyung I see on TV?_' he thought. He quickly reached over the tissues in living room and wiped his face as an attempt to remove the annoyingly thick make up Sungmin put onto it. Unfortunately, those random gestures of his hand only caused his previously pretty face to look like a creepy clown in thriller movies. His red coloured lipstick was smeared and his mascaras smudged around his eyes.

"Oh God, this is horrible" A shock, black tear-stained face was looking back at him as he braced himself to look at the mirror.

Little did he know, there were two pairs of eyes stared at him suspiciously.

"Hyuk-ah, who do you think she is? She looks suspicious…is she a robber? Or a freaky fangirl? Or a passerby ahjumma who likes to buy chicken wings? Or.."

"Or an ordinary guy," Eunhyuk interrupted. "She's a he."

"A hermaphrodite alien?" Donghae jumped in excitement.

"Cool off, Hae, I know who is he," Eunhyuk stepped closer toward the suspicious-looking stranger. "Hey"

Jino bobbed his head only to see Eunhyuk stood before him. "You're that Jino-guy, aren't you? The rookie from…what's your group's name again? S.M. The Ballet?"

"A-ah..Hello hyung, I'm Cho Jino. And it's S.M. The Ballad…" He muttered quietly.

"But that outfit of yours…"

"A..a..this isn't..it's not what you think it is!" he snapped. "Well, okay, no need to be tense," Eunhyuk gave him an understanding smile.

"I was just surprised to see that you could recognize me, hyung" he replied, twiddling the tip of Sungmin's pink platter tutu. '_Oh hyung, you don't know how cool you are in my mind right now…_' he mentally admired Eunhyuk.

"Nah~ it's easy, I've seen your album's promotional photos before. You look exactly the same"

Jino then remembered how his face looked like at that moment and immediately cringed. He didn't know whether to be happy or to cry at his hyung's comment.

'_or not._' He added to his previous mental note.

Donghae was still looking suspiciously at the so-called-Jino guy as he pulled a folded paper out of his pocket. Who thought a piece of paper would come in handy at time like that?

**4 Simple Ways to Know Whether the Person Next to You is a Hermaphrodite Alien Especially When Someone Told You that He/She is Actually a She/He (SWKWPNYHAEWSTYH/SAS/H)**

Donghae proceeded to read the next lines.

**Hermaphrodite aliens are pink.**

He raised his head in a rush to examine the Jino-guy appearance. She/he wore a shocking pink platter tutu, her/his hair was pink and her/his cheeks were simply almost as pink as her/his tutu. Donghae smirked. Number 1, checked.

**2. Hermaphrodite aliens often disguise their selves as belly dancers or ballerinas.**

Ballerina. He read the word once more time before mentally checked number 2's line.

**3. Hermaphrodite aliens tend to be cute, literally or figuratively.**

Donghae frowned. He didn't think that she/he was cute. Her/his face was quite scary, but she/he wore a bunny ears-shaped headband. '_Maybe she/he is trying to be cute?_' Donghae shrugged and checked the line number 3.

**4. Hermaphrodite aliens can read minds.**

'_Now that's quite difficult._' mused Donghae. "Back off, Hyukjae," he said, pulling Eunhyuk's left arm. He drew his attention back to Jino and stared at his eyes deeply. "There's 75% of possibility that she/he is a hermaphrodite alien."

"I told you Jino is a he" Eunhyuk rolled his eyes. Donghae chose to ignore him and moved his face closer to Jino's.

"U-uh.." Jino instinctively moved back. Donghae narrowed his eyes, giving him I-know-you-know-what-I'm-thinking-so-just-admit-it-that-you-are-an-alien- kind of look.

"Eww Jino what happened to your face?" Sungmin suddenly popped into the living room, shouting in disbelief.

"What now.." Kyuhyun groaned. "Hyung, leave my dongsaeng alone."

Donghae didn't budge. "Hyung!" Donghae tilted his head, staring Kyuhyun with blank expression.

'_What_'

"Leave. Him. Alone."

'_Don't want_'

"Hyung answer me already!"

'_I am answering you. She/he is an alien_'

"HYUNG STOP TALKING IN YOUR MIND" Kyuhyun raged. "And if you're thinking that Jino is an alien, he is clearly not."

"HA! You can read my mind! According to my SWKWPNYHAEWSTYH/SAS/H, you're now 25% suspected to be an alien!" Donghae exaggeratingly exclaimed.

"All I see is Sungmin." Eunhyuk read the paper nonchalantly.

"What? I would never ever cross-dress as belly dancers," Sungmin's eyebrows furrowed in disgust. "I don't like them. I prefer sambas."

"I can't believe you're dumb enough to take Heechul's words seriously." Kyuhyun hugged his self-proclaimed dongsaeng protectively. "Now now Jino, don't worry, hyung's here."

"You little punk! How dare you hug him like that!" the seemingly jealous Sungmin kicked Kyuhyun's ass, separating the hug forcefully.

"How do you know it was from Heechul hyung? I should've known it, you're indeed alien!" Donghae pounced on the now having kung-fu battle Sungmin and Kyuhyun.

"It's stated here, Hae." Eunhyuk replied which Donghae didn't bother to listen.

**p.s : this is not Heenim's. seriously. tee~hee~**

Eunhyuk sighed heavily and gave a pitiful look toward Jino, who had been thrown onto the couch as the impact of Sungmin's previous kick.

"I'm sorry for their immaturity." Eunhyuk smiled sheepishly. Jino was astonished to see how calm Eunhyuk dealt such situation. He simply nodded as a sign he was-which actually wasn't-okay with it. At least, among these insanely behavioral people, there was still normal person.

"So," Eunhyuk continued. "Mind teaching me ballet?"

Or simply stupid.

* * *

It was the very same tiring day for S.M. The Ballad members when the infamous rookie of said group, Cho Jino, swore to never ever visit Super Junior's dorm anymore. He would still accept chicken wings from stranger whenever he was hungry, though.

* * *

A/N : okay. that was too random. sorry~~~ I can't believe I'm writing again after 2 years. I know I have abandoned this account and even didn't finish yohxanna and kiraxcagalli sibling fics I wanted to write back then. and here, I come back with idol fics instead ^^;

so sorry, but this fandom is fun and I can't help but feel like writing one X)

anyway, reviews are loved .


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